I Have Been Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!

Oh, yes you hear me right! I have been stupid and I just realized it today. I didn't realize it until the Lord speaks to my heart through His Word preached by a man of God from South Africa. When I first listened to him, I felt quite normal and basically thought this, " Well, I knew that one, too brother!" Until when he told a story about his kids who knocked the door of his room to remind him to be hurry because they were running late. He was in his room having a quiet moment with the Lord. He then answered his kids that unless someone is dying, they should never again knock on his door when he's having a quiet moment with the Lord. He told them that nobody is so important that they can't wait for him, but the Lord. He then told them that he was doing that because the time He spent with the Lord is the reason why he could make their mother happy. So, after that the kids also did the same without him knowing until one day when he came to check for his boys and he found out that they were reading the Word of God even after such a long day of studying. When he told them to sleep because he knew how tired the boys were, they replied him that they didn't want God to wait for them. So, they were having the evening quiet moment even they were surely tired.

You see, that moment my eyes were opened and realized how I have been stupid. I'm often in rush and have many excuses for why I couldn't have a quiet moment. I use my busyness, bad mood, tiredness, etc. for the reason why I can't have a regular quiet moment with the Lord daily.  Now it must stop! Nobody is so important that they can't wait for me, unless someone is dying. I realized I have treated God very poorly by letting Him wait for me, while I don't let other people or things wait. How could I say that God is my everything when I didn't prioritize Him? How could I say that I love The Lord when I treated Him like He is unimportant to me? I would surely make an effort to have a quality time with someone I love, but why I didn't do it for The Lord? Lord Yeshua, I'm so sorry! Forgive me that I have been treating You the way I shouldn't. I should do a lot better than that.

I have been pondering and grieving for my depressing working life for almost 7 years. Did God make mistake when He put me at my current workplace? Absolutely no! Can't He provide me with better job that I don't need to deal with difficult people? Definitely yes!  So, why am I here then? Today that question is answered with more challenging questions. Have I treated God the way I should? Have I spent good amounts of quality time with Him? Do I deserve His blessings despite my shortcomings? The answer to those questions is....unfortunately No! *head bowed
I wish I realized it a lot earlier, but it's better now than never. Thank you, Lord for your constant love to me, even though I don't deserve it. So, from now on, I promise that I won't ever neglect a quality time (quiet moment) with God. It's not because I'm after His blessings only, but for all the love He has shown me. If I don't want to be rude to the people who love me, why then I'm rude to the One who loves me more than anyone in my life? Life might be busy and challenging, but may I not forget His love by neglecting Him the quiet moment. After all, those time I spent with Him is the reason why I have joy and strength regardless my circumstances. I have been depriving myself and it was the stupidest thing I've ever done. Now is the time to stop and change for a better me! Obviously not by my own might, but by His grace I will be diligent and able to do so. Praise the Lord!

Random day stuff

Today is the last day of 2017 and of course I had to work! It was quite peaceful in the morning until 12 pm when the rush hour started. All in all, I had a good day at work, but there were two odd things that happened today at work. 

1. All those mean-spirited customers suddenly came to my kassa at the same day, though at different times. I have never had a day when those mean people came to my kassa all at the same day. Was I nervous? Sure! But... they were all behaved today! None of them were nasty. They surely didn't smile  at me nor being nice to me, but they weren't even rude as they normally are. So, that was a good thing! But when I think of it, what an odd thing that they all had to show up at the same day. It's like having things as if they're intimidating when in reality they're not. Not even close. Is God trying to teach/show me something? Only time will tell.

2. One lady adored my grey hair! Oh, yes you hear me right: she liked my grey hair! When asked why, she said that those grey hair were nicely grown that it looks like someone's hair in Frozen movie because my grey hair formed nice grey stripes among my dark brown hair and it has bronze color at its end. Well, I have watched that Frozen movie and I can't recall anyone who has such hair like mine, though. Elsa has blonde hair and Anna has red (or bronze) hair, but none of them has dark hair for sure! So, I don't really get what she was talking about. Oh well, at least there's someone who loves the thing of me that nobody likes including me myself. Again, is God trying to teach me something? I guess so. 

As for now, my shift is over for today and I'm preparing myself for the New Year's Eve service at our church tonight. This will be interesting, too because not many churches have service on the New Year's Eve. It maybe common for churches in the country where I come from to have the New Year's Eve service, but not in the country where I live now. So, I'm excited to be there!

It is Not Always Easy To Be Happy With Those Who Are Happy

We often read or hear this Word of God: "Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep." (Romans 12:15, NLT)
I also heard that it is always easier to be happy with those who are happy than to mourn with those who mourn. However, I have seen in my experience that it is not necessarily true. Many people I know actually find it easier to mourn with those who mourn, but not to be happy with those who are happy. When a friend of mine passed away, all of his friends including me were grieving together with the family he had left behind. My heart was broken for his wife and his little daughters. It is actually easier to symphatize with someone who is grieving.

Then, several years ago another friend got a better job without the need to struggle for it. Instead of me rejoicing with her, I was really unhappy. Did I say "congratulations!" to her? Yes, I did. Was I sincere when I said it? No, definitely not! Why? Because knowing her getting that job without the need to struggle for it made me sad. I felt that it was so unfair. I have been trying all the best I could to get my dream job, but I only got rejection after rejection. Even worse, I resented her after she kept telling me that all went well with her. I decided that I didn't want to have anything to do with her anymore. I was so bitter and resentful. She basically didn't do anything wrong, but I couldn't bear her telling me how happy she was with her new job, with her life. Life has been nice to her, while I have been encountering rude people. Since then, I distanced myself from her. It's very sad, indeed! She must have been confused of why I resented her.

So, when I read Romans 12:15, I felt like God was nudging my heart. He was pointing the issue I had during that time. I was not Christ-like, when I resented my friend. Whether I like to admit it or not, I was actually envious of her and was so full of self-pity. Then, The Lord reminded me again about the story of Cain and Abel. Cain killed Abel because he was so envious of him. See, how dangerous it is when our heart is filled with envy! God doesn't want me to be envious of others. This kind of sin usually starts from comparing oneself with others, then it grows into self-pity which in turn grows into envy and finally would result in hatred, murder and many other nasty things. Thank God that He showed me my ugly heart! Thank God that He wants me to get over it and move on. He wants me not to look to others, but look only to Him. When I look to Jesus, I know my worth. I know that I am loved. I know that everything else don't matter for Him, but my heart. My worldly achievements mean nothing for Him. I feel secure when I look to Him and I don't need to compare myself with others.

Thank you, Abba Father, for showing me Your truth. Your truth sets me free! I no longer have the need to compare myself with others, but be content with all I have. I can rejoice with those who rejoice because I know my worth in You. Help me, Lord, to always remember that You died for me on the cross because You love me and I could never find any satisfaction in my life apart from You. In Jesus' name I pray. Amen.

Israel Naftali, A Jewish Man who Shared The Gospel to Muslims in the West Bank

For men's point of view, Dr. Israel Naftali has failed in his medical career when he ended up being a gardener. But for God, he has accomplished God's divine plan and purpose in bringing the good news of salvation to the muslim community in West Bank. If he had never been a gardener, perhaps there wouldn't be revival there. Let alone a church. See how huge is the difference between God's POV and men's! What is greatly appreciated by men, not necessarily by God. ‪#‎ProsperityGospelBusted‬

"For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts." -- Isaiah 55:9

You may read the article here

Picture of The Day -- The False Jesus The World Loves!

Thought of sharing this picture.

Last Day of Hanukkah

Thank you, Abba Elohim for this week! All went well at work. Called my dad earlier this week, got lots of word of comfort, encouragement and wisdom--exactly what I needed at that moment. I simply couldn't stop thanking the Lord for my dad. A God-fearing dad is a hero to his daughter and is the reference she uses when she chooses her husband. <3
Finally, today is the last day of Hanukkah and the whole Hanukkah week went well and peacefully. Baruch HaShem.

Highlight of This Week

Highlight of this week:

- Found some introvert people (ISFJ, ISTJ, ISTP and mostly INFJ) who are often mistaken as extroverts due to their approachable and outgoing nature and shared my "trouble" with them, such as: there was a moment when I simply couldn't stand seeing and talking to people which resulted in me shunning everyone. Then, some of my workmates and friends got confused and wondered what happened. When I said that I simply need my cave moment, they looked at me in disbelief and said, "Oh, I thought you're that type of person who enjoys being with people?" So thankful for those outgoing introvert people who understand me and the trouble I was having, since most introverts can't just understand that some of us can be outgoing. Let alone the real extroverts.

- My very few (less than the number of fingers on a hand) close friends. I thank God always for them! <3

- Got to call my little brother after a few weeks break due to my working shifts that often fall on weekend, and had a very satisfying, no-nonsense and faith-lifting conversation as usual. I'm blessed to be your sister, D!